And the reality checks!
A girl with starry eyes, all feisty and happy to start a new life.
She meets a bunch of people. Some of her alike, some girls who she liked, some boys she laughed with.
It’s a new start. College and all. We see it in movies and we see it on TV series. But it’s nothing like that. It felt so much more.
It is much more because she caught a boy looking at her.
It was an instant connection when there is no need to explicitly be open and confront. It felt easy.
All the things that last must feel easy, na?
She knew their friendship would mean so much. She dreamt of that ‘so much’ from that very first year.
The initial surge of emotions and hormones passed but she is now even more fond of his heart.
Not on everything, they would agree but they would always sleep with smiley emojis.
When curtains fell on the ‘College’ part, many things started to change.
What to do? where to go? and a thousand more questions that lay ahead.
Thousand hers, thousand his!
‘What about us?’ was a question that never arrived.
‘Us’ part was going to stay. He found his best friend in her and she dreamt of a forever from very first day.
So what? Things were never as easy as they both thought. She loved him so much but she didn’t know more things about him that she has to love from her heart.
Dreams! Half his, half hers.
His dreams when he shared. She agreed. Though they differed.
She somehow made his dreams her own.
Her half share of dreams merged into his and started to take a shape.
In spite of whirlwind, they managed to stay sane.
Impossible long distance was made possible. Though she kept eyes on the dream she saw in that very first year.
He supported her and he came a halfway to pick up his dear bae.
Hopes! Half his, half hers that they would be together in one place.
She traveled across the world to be in the world where they both can stay.
So after 8 odd years, they stay with the same roof upon heads.
Finally, laughter is shared. She cooked and he did the dishes.
With us Indians, it is never enough, The families have to agree. they need to share the same dream.
Many many obstacles went into the way. Mars, Jupiter, and Venus demanded but all budged in the end.
His family is different than hers but somehow differences aligned. The contract was signed. The date has been fixed.
Isn’t is the happy end?
Future! Half his, half hers, soon to become one.
But families would never understand this half equation. Do they?
Savings, gold, FDs, and shares all are expended by the girl and her family to make a good wedding day that was shared by both.
Why so much sacrifice at the girl’s end? When she is equal to him in all the ways.
Families don’t know about dreams and hopes that were shared equally by them.
She felt sad and unjust. Why is it this way?
She felt so much gratitude to her parents that she is understood for her dreams and her hopes. She is supported by them. She is heard by them.
Daughters are not just someone who would marry someone each day. Daughters that say — ‘no papa, don’t wear a yellow shirt this way’, also have a right to say- ‘ No, I want things to be done in the right way’
That girl who is treated like a son by her parents found it too heavy to not raise a voice against these inequalities.
Her friend told her, this is our so-called ‘full of pride’ Indian way. Traditions that weigh heavily on just one end.
Though she shares everything equally, she feels the burden alone. She fondly goes back to roses and chocolates shared by both in her memory lane.
More than this ‘not shared’ expenses, she wants to feel respected. She wants to feel heard, and that she is equal to her ‘to be husband’
When would be that time when everything is actually shared.
To answer this, she says with a broken voice.
She says I’d raise my son in a different way.
That my kid would have a right to live responsibly his own life. He’d be heard and respected. No matter the subject.
Big things take time to change. Equality is truly a massive change.
Generations passed, many girls suffered and shushed.
But with her opinions and firm decisions, I can see a virtuous circle starting a it’s way.
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